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Arguing Early In a Relationship: The Toxic Test

I’ve been with my girlfriend for
3 months so far. Everything is great and there is a lot of
chemistry. There is just this one little problem – we’ve had
several fights. I really like her…so how can I make it so that we
fight less?”

If you’re in a similar situation, then I’ve got some
for you:

If you have just ONE major fight in your first year together, it’s
a sign you may not belong together.

Why? Because the first year of the relationship is usually when
you’re the MOST flexible with each other. Because the physical
attraction is still high and you’re still getting to know each other,
you should both be willing to make compromises for the other person –
such as eating food you don’t like or going out even though
you have work the next day. You should also be more considerate of each
other’s needs because you haven’t figured out everything yet. Lastly,
you should be overlooking the flaws in the other person because all you
are both still very infatuated.

So if you still can’t help but to FIGHT with each other during this
“honeymoon period”, it’s a MAJOR SIGN things will only GET WORSE
as time goes on.

It doesn’t matter what the reasons for the fights are.

If you’re fighting over small things such as a habit, that habit will
likely NOT go away any time soon. You CAN’T expect to change a person.
You have to accept them for who they are. If you have trouble tolerating
it now, it’s only going to get worse in the future.

If you’re fighting over something BIG such as cheating or lying, then
that’s a sign you can expect MORE DRAMA to come.

Either way, the relationship is probably not going to last too long.

So what should you do if you’re always fighting with your partner but
want to give it a shot anyway?

1) The first thing you should do is to make sure the problems are not on
your end…or that you’re not adding fuel to the fire.

Once you have identified what’s causing the arguments in your relationship,
you should do everything you are capable or doing on YOUR END to fix
the problem.

2) Next, try telling your partner what you think you should do TOGETHER to
improve the relationship with the assertiveness techniques I teach
you in the course. If they co-operate, then MAYBE you have a chance. If
they don’t, it’s time to move on.

3) Finally, see if things DO get better. If you see a clear upward trend
in your relationship, then maybe it can be saved. Otherwise, it’s time
to consider ending the relationship.

Just remember: If it sucks now, it’s going to suck even MORE once you’re
married!

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